A Few Heavy Splashes - Philippians & Hebrews

I have been feeling disturbed in mind lately - I confess that I am not feeling much contentment. The holidays alway bring up a lot of feelings, especially as the year draws to a close and we see another one about to begin. It usually puts me in a kind of reflective mood and it's tempting to dwell too much on what I don't have or haven't done or on the things that - as a single person - I don't have in common with the rest of humanity. Trust God to remind me often of Paul's words in Phillipians.

Phil 4:11 Not that I speak in respect of want: for I have
learned, in whatsoever state I am, [therewith] to
be content.

Whatever state that I am in, I have learned to be content. That can be a difficult prescription. It is a state of mind that I constantly have to work towards and it isn't easy sometimes. It's a hard idea to keep in your mind all the time - I backslide a lot. But there is no getting around it. Where am I right now ? Good or bad, since he's in control it's right where God wants me or I would be somewhere else. I cannot compare my progress or state with that of anyone else because God has a plan for each of us and yours and mine are not going to be the same as our neighbor's.

There is a saying that comes to my mind sometimes - how life is like a tapestry and we can only see the ragged threads on the bottom. Have you ever looked at needlepoint on the backside ? It doesn't look very pretty. But God sees the real picture forming on the top. He sees each of our threads running through it and, as the Masterweaver, he chooses the direction, the color, the length and the design.

There is another verse in Hebrews that instructs us about contentment.

Hbr 13:5 [Let your] conversation [be] without
covetousness; [and be] content with such things
as ye have: for he hath said, I will never leave
thee, nor forsake thee.

I guess God knew that the grass would always seem greener to us on the other side of the fence, in our neighbor's yard. Things don't have to be material goods - we can covet family, friends, lifestyle, personality, physical attributes, blessings, careers - I think you get the idea. For me, it's the connectedness that other people have. Must be a common desire of single people. I hate being alone and yet it seems like I am alone all the time. Sometimes it's alone as in "no people around" but often it's alone as in "no one around I connect with". I feel more alone in crowds than any other time. I think it's because at moments like that I am most aware of my differences.

The promise in the last part of the verse in Hebrews means a lot to me. Deus avec nous is written on a banner underneath the crest that has been handed down in my family. I know that crests like that are given to individuals, not families but nevertheless the family has adopted it and I've also adopted it as my own. I've been told the phrase is French and means "God with us".

I can't think of anything greater to be reminded of than that God has a plan for our lives and that he's always with us, can you ?